A Social Network

Holla, holla, holla.

Nothing important here. But I did realize a few weeks ago that I tend to use social media outlets for vastly different purposes. I also realized that I don't have links to those on here (thought I did), so I should figure out how to add them.

But for now, here's the breakdown. Click the link to see the profile and follow, follow, follow. 

Twitter- This is where I spend most of the social media times. It's the closest I'll get to revealing what's happening in life. For the most part, it's just retweets of tasteless jokes and me flirting with other dudes. So much me flirting with other dudes. On occasion, though, it's thoughtful insights on nerd shit and, in rare circumstances, actual updates on what's happening in life. Like, job stuff and relationship stuff and me being in a shit mood stuff. Twitter is where I'm at.

Facebook- I use to play Avengers Alliance and see what people I went to high school with are doing with their kids. I also post a shit ton of videos here, so if you're interested in videos that I think are amusing or worth taking a look at, this is the place to be. 13 of the last 15 status updates I've posted have been videos. One of the other ones was just the word #hashtag. So... don't expect much from me here. It's videos. I use Twitter for real updates.

Tumblr- It is 99% amazing nerd pictures from movies or comic books. I use tumblr for the sole purpose of looking at cool pictures and reblogging them. So that's all it is. Once a month or so, I'll find a neat quote someone posted that's worth a reblog... but the rest is all comic book characters and behind the scenes Star Wars pics (and some other nerd shit, too). I love tumblr because I've managed to come up with quite an amazing collection of awesome pictures of fantastic shit. Adjectives, bitches! I don't care about getting followers on tumblr. Just on there for the pictures. So not asking for a follow, (but please do if you're inclined). At least check out the page, though. Some pretty amazing stuff on there.

Man of Steel

I don't have much for this, but there were a few points I wanted to throw down, so we should be through this quick. The movie's good. Not great, but good. It's good enough to be a starting point for something more if DC can get their heads out of their collective ass and make it happen. Though I fear that this will be done in a rush and we'll end up with a lot of shit over the next couple of summers. The downside to DC being so far behind Marvel is that an attempt to do the Justice League movie will have to be done before the inevitable burst of this superhero movie bubble. That means fast-tracking things that should be done with precision and care. We'll see what comes of it.

I had a friend who said he preferred Iron Man 3 to Man of Steel and I think I felt the opposite, which is weird because I don't much care for Superman. That could have something to do with it, though. I was much more invested in Iron Man 3 than I was in Man of Steel, so it's possible that the inconsistencies of the former would bother me more than the latter. Perhaps.

And now, bullet points... (sorta)

-It's too damn long. There had to be some edits that could have gotten this down closer to two hours. The problem with the final fight was that we all knew it was coming. Of course it was. That's how these movies are structured. Prolonging the fight or doing some half-assed fake out is pointless. We all know Superman vs Zod is going to close out the show. The longer the movie goes on, the less we care and the more we just want to see the thing we know is coming. Other downside to a Superman movie is that Superman fights tend to be more or less the same thing. Packing in a couple long ass fights gives us a chance to see a lot of cool stuff, but it also gives us more chances to see a lot of the same stuff (that stuff being punching). The fight in Smallville could have been trimmed down a couple of minutes, at least, and still had the same essential effect. Well, most of the fights. Superman vs the World Engine. The struggle to turn on the escape pod so it could be used as a bomb. All of these things could have been trimmed, and we would have gotten the exact same movie with less "cool" stuff in it.

-Speaking of Zod, Michael Shannon seemed a lot less evil than I expected. Though I get that his character wasn't "evil," at least not from a certain point of view, but he was the antagonist. He was ruthless, and I expected more overall menace from him. Seemed like three-quarters of the time he was just going with the flow, not all that interested, and then the other quarter he cranks up the Insane-O-Meter to a rockin' 11. Those parts are awesome. The other parts were kinda dull.

-Jor-El was a badass. This is not a bad thing. But after that opening, I did kinda hope it was just going to be a whole movie of Jor-El kicking ass on Krypton.

-Lois should have kissed Superman. It doesn't seem to make sense for Supers to lead into it, too. I'm all for him joining in if she initiates, but it seemed weird for him to make the move first, or for them to do it at the same time, as he hadn't seemed too interested before that. There were a couple of spots, but most of the movie was Lois Lane being all school girl crush on the hot quarterback. Superman was... preoccupied. And it didn't seem like Clark had spent a lot of time with the ladies in his travels, so I'm guessing he's not all that suave or smooth. Just seems far more plausible that a strong, independent woman like Lois would make the first move and then Superman would be like, "This is cool" and join in.

-I liked this Lois Lane. Aside from Jor-El, she seemed to be the most interesting person in the movie. Up until closer to the end when she just turned into helpless woman falling out of an airplane.

-The ending. Gods damn this ending. Despite some minor grips, I was on board with this one until the end. It was more or less the movie I expected, and that's a good thing. It wasn't disappointing. Until the end. I bitched about this with Iron Man 3, and I'm going to again here... superheroes need to stop murdering people. It's fine for Wolverine and Punisher because that's what those dudes do. It's part of their schtick. And it serves a purpose, to some degree, of informing their character and their motivations. This is not true for most superheroes, who tend to avoid murdering villains because it's crossing a line into villainous terrain. Murder is wrong. We all know that. Now this isn't Superman's fault. He was written into a corner. But there were still other options. Superman could have blocked Zod's heat vision with his own hand. Or could have flown them both up into space or some remote area of the world where innocent victims would not be an issue. He could have even just turned Zod's head to redirect the heat vision, as opposed to turning it 360 degrees to snap his gods damn neck. Even within the scene itself, there were other options. But that scene didn't have to happen. There were an infinite numbers of possibilities for an ending to this movie. And even if Zod had to die, there could have been the self-inflicted death (ala Green Goblin in the first Raimi Spider-Man movie) or something akin to Liam Neeson's death in Batman Begins. Not that Superman should have let him die, either, but something where Zod's own recklessness causes his demise and Superman is unable to stop it, for whatever reason. Superman is supposed to be the ideal. He's the one we look up to. The one we strive to be. He's supposed to be better than us. A normal person with the kind of power Superman has would abuse it. What makes Superman such a great hero is the fact that he doesn't. That's what we look up to. That's what we admire. But now he's just a murderer, like us, (humans in general, that is). And I'll give this movie credit for at least acknowledging that it was wrong. Superman shows true remorse for killing Zod, which is more than we get from most superheroes. That would be fine if this was the "end" of the film. If this was the lasting impression, then I'd be a little more OK with it. I still wouldn't like that Superman murdered Zod, but at least if I walk out thinking he feels like shit for it, I can deal with it. Instead we get treated to seven more scenes of Clark Kent doing Clark Kent stuff and going on about his business like none of it matters. So whatever emotional impact could have been gained from Superman showing remorse right after the murder, is lost in the ensuing rush of "hilarious" gags, making it pointless and meaningless and leaving me with the impression that he wasn't that remorseful after all.

-Speaking of those endings, Perry knows that Clark is Superman, right? Because he just hired this dude and threw him in the bullpen with his two best reporters (Lois Lane and dude whose name was said once but I don't remember it and it doesn't matter because he's still the only other reporter we see at the Daily Planet). Now it didn't look like Clark had gone to get his Journalism degree in those flashbacks we kept getting, so as far as I know, he has ZERO journalistic experience or training and just got thrown right into a partnership (or whatever) with a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist. That would be quite the accomplishment for even a seasoned journalist, let alone some dude whose last job was as a crab fisherman... even though that's not on his resume because he was using a fake name. So does Clark even have job experience on his resume? Not like he can claim to have worked at all those places if he didn't give them his real name. Not that crab fishing lends well to a job as a reporter, either, but at least it would be something... Ugh. So, either Perry knows that Clark is Superman and he's helping him out, or he's the most incompetent editor/manager/hiring personnel on the planet.

-Smallville got fuuuuuuuucked up.

-Metropolis got fuuuuuuuucked up.

-That tweet. There've been talks that Man of Steel opens the door to the larger DCU. Other people with super powers see Superman "come out" and then find the courage to take up after him. So that's how we end up getting The Flash and Wonder Woman? It isn't clear, and a lot of it is just shit that the writer and director of Man of Steel talked about wanting to do, but I think that's as far as it goes. Nothing official, just some hopeful dudes wanting to do more. With that idea, though, I think it would be cool to see this as Luthor's motivation for hating Superman. Sure, Zod caused a lot of that damage to Metropolis, but he was there to find Superman to begin with. And Smallville was all Superman smashing shit. The movie was quite clear that Superman does not care about collateral damage because smashing through crumbling buildings looks fucking cool. I'm sorta OK with that, because it DOES look cool. But it would be so awesome if Lex Luthor looked at that and said "This is a dangerous man that must be stopped." And then he tries to do that. Sure, he's a villain, so he'll do it in a villainous manner, but the core idea that he wants to keep Superman from ruining another American city is solid. And even if we want to accept the argument that all those people made it out of the buildings safe and sound... that's still millions of dollars in property damage. Those are homes and businesses that have been obliterated, and I doubt insurance covers "alien brawl." So Luthor has a solid foundation to stand on. Then it's just a matter of making him take it "too far."
 

Marvel Heroes

To be honest, I hadn't planned on doing a blog for awhile, (except that I had planned to write a blog about how I wouldn't be writing blogs for awhile), but I've been surprised at just how disappointed I am in the few hours I spent checking out Marvel Heroes. I remember seeing this back at PAX and it seemed cool. Sorta forgot about it for a bit and then I started getting e-mails (encouraging me to purchase overpriced character packs) as the game geared up for launch.

It should be no secret that I'm a big ol' annoying Marvel fanboy, so once these fellas reminded me they had a game coming out, I reminded myself to get kind of excited. The weird thing is, I didn't realize how much I was looking forward to this game until it landed and I went through the first two or three hours. I had so much fun I just finished uninstalling the damn thing from this computer. Which brings us here.

For those that read Penny Arcade on a regular basis, this might be a bit of a rehash. My experience was almost identical to theirs. Which I guess I should have expected, but didn't. The thing (ha!) that I find so strange is that here we have a big ol' Marvel MMO written by Brian Michael Bendis and created by the dude who made Diablo or whatever, so the pedigree is solid, and this game should be perfect for a Marvel kid like me... but being such a huge Marvel fan is the precise reason that I don't like the game.And that is just so damn disappointing.

I am almost positive that all Marvel video/mobile games have had the same exact plot for about a decade or so now. Dr. Doom steals (insert powerful Marvel artifact here) and recruits/tricks all the super villains of the Marvel U to aid him in distracting the superheroes while he puts his plan for world domination in motion. SHIELD puts a generic call out to all heroes to help stop the impending doom (ha!). There are some small variations here and there, but on the overall, this seems to be the go-to excuse for pulling all of Marvel's heroes together for the purposes of a game.

In this particular game, Doom has stolen the Cosmic Cube (that would be the tesseract for those who watched The Avengers movie) and hired (?) Hydra to instigate a breakout at The Raft (think Arkham Asylum for the entire Marvel U). With super villains free and running about causing mischief, Dr. Doom can go about his cosmic cube business while the superheroes are distracted with rounding up the super fugitives.

So that's what I know going into this. The game gives an option of five free characters to choose from, (the others are available for purchase, because that's how F2P works). I have a choice of Daredevil, Storm, Scarlet Witch, Hawkeye, or The Thing. Now I'm all about mutant and proud, so no question I'm picking Storm (plus she's got range attacks and I tend to go ranger classes in most MMOs). I grab Storm and get into the game and find out that Nick Fury (voiced by Keith David, so finally we got that right) has made his usual call and needs me, Storm, to go to The Raft and help get things under control.

It has taken about three seconds for this game to annoy me. In fairness, Storm was on the Avengers roster for a short time and was married to T'Challa, so she's a bit more involved with the larger Marvel universe than most of the X-Men, (excluding Beast and Wolverine). But the X-Men in general tend to get left out when shit like this happens in the comics, (part of the reason Scott was being a prick in AvX), so it's a bit out of sorts for Storm to go running about doing SHIELD's bidding. Had I known (or thought for two seconds about the usual Marvel game formula) I would have chosen one of the other characters more suited to SHIELD-centric work. (It should be noted I would have had a similar issue had I gone with the back-up choice of Daredevil).

OK. Let's ignore that and move on, though. Whatever. For some weird reason Storm is helping out SHIELD and she's on The Raft and killin' dudes with lightning and wind and shit. It's kinda fun. The controls are odd and I couldn't figure out how to get them how I wanted, but that's just because I'm MMO illiterate. Now because this is the introduction area or whatever no one else is in here. So it's just me running around to get the power back up and running so SHIELD can start containing this situation. One thing I dig is that loot drops out of enemies, so I just walk over and pick it up. It's a small thing, but it works better.

"Oh, look there, I punched MODOK so hard he dropped a shiny bauble. I wonder what it does."

This is much better for me than DCU Online, which forced an extra button press to loot the corpses of the dead enemies.

"Quick, while Joker's unconscious we can loot his pockets for spare change. Oh, and get his wallet. I bet we can check his license for his real name. Reginald?! Oh, shit. No wonder he kept that a secret. What a loser. Robin, grab his sneakers, too. Those are some wicked fresh kicks."

It doesn't seem like much, but it's one of those minor touches that makes a big difference for me. It's not very superhero to loot the bodies of the dead. The Raft is a good intro piece to the game. It's a little dull... run down a hall, lightning bolt lightning bolt wind gust, run down another hall, lightning bolt lightning bolt... but that argument could be made against most games. Overall, I enjoyed the first half hour or so going through The Raft. The gear management is a pain in the ass, but again, that's a complaint I have for a lot of MMOs/RPGs so not something I'll hold against this one in particular. I beat down Living Laser and Green Goblin, (these boss fights are where the lackluster combat was more obvious, in the one-on-one situation, but I was also low level so not a lot of powers to use), and get things back in order enough that SHIELD can finish clean-up, and move back on to Avengers Tower for the next mission.

Which is where things take a big downward turn.

Up until this point I was running solo. Just Storm out doin' a little superhero work. Now I come back to Avengers Tower and the MMO gates have been opened. The tower is like a hub where people can get the next mission and sell shit, craft some stuff, whatever. A smaller version of a town in other games. It's sort of jarring just because I wasn't expecting to be dumped in with all these people. Last time I was in Avengers Tower, it was just me and Vision chillin' like non-villains, then I come back from the mission and the place is overrun with Avengers.

But if seeing a room full of unexpected characters is a surprise experience, imagine what it's like to see a room full of the same characters. Avengers Tower was overrun with clones of The Thing and Hawkeye. There were a couple of Scarlet Witches and Daredevils in there, too, and one other Storm, but for the most part it's The Rock and Arrow Show all over the gods damn place. This is... bothersome.

See, now for as much as Marvel loves their "Dr. Doom stole this thing and will use it to boil the seas" idea, DC loves the "Lex Luthor and/or Joker did some heinous shit in an alternate universe, so Lex Luthor and/or Batman must come to the 'real' DCU and recruit the Justice League to set things right." That's their go-to video game move. Which, for as much as I hate that line, it at least gives an excuse for twelve Batmans to be in the same room, or even better, twelve Batmans to be fighting each other. No such veiled excuse is given here.

One of the things Marvel will harp on end over end, whether it be the comics or movie universe, is character. Each of their characters is unique and individual, with a distinct and believable personality. This is what sets them apart from the competition. Peter Parker is (dead) a real person with real feelings and you get that from reading Spider-Man. You can identify with Peter and it draws the reader in more. Same for Wolverine, or Captain America, or whoever. These are superheroes, of course, with exaggerated problems, but at the core they deal with emotions and issues just like real people would. Stark was a drunk. So was Carol Danvers. Sad Hulk is sad. Turns out Charles Xavier is a huge fucking douche. Peter Parker could never catch a break. Luke Cage was forced to choose between doing what he loved and doing what was best for his family.  Dr. Strange is a creeper who sleeps with his students.

Real people. Real people problems. Also super problems. Because comics.

I'll admit, it gets old hearing Marvel writers and promoters emphasize how important it is to make these characters feel real, but it's true. It is important. It makes them so much more interesting to read about. It's one of the things I love about Marvel characters. For all their heroic attributes, these are still regular people, and like regular people, they're kinda fucked up.

And while seeing a dozen Things lingering around a warp portal together is kinda fucked up, it does nothing to support the realism and truth of character that Marvel is all about. It's one of the more anti-Marvel things I could think of. Let alone the more game-centric problem that it's unreal and illogical and just blows a big ol' fuckin' hole in immersion.

But I still want to like this game. I want it to be good. So I go to the next mission part. Rhino and Shocker are up to no good in Hells' Kitchen, and Daredevil doesn't like it when people start making trouble in his neighborhood. So we get this neat motion comic of Daredevil foiling their plans. He stops Rhino, but Shocker makes a run for it. Time to go track him down...

Before we get too far, let me note that the idea of doing the cinematics/cutscenes as motion comics is a cool ass idea. Also, the few that I saw were done in different styles. This one for Daredevil had a sort of muted color palette near the beginning, similar to some of the Maleev DD covers. Which I liked. Until I thought more about it and wondered how I would feel if I were playing as Daredevil. I think it still works, but some of the effect is lost. There was a similar problem I'll get to in a minute.

OK. Storm and I go through the subway to track down Shocker and kick his ass, and find out that Doc Ock is going to steal a magical tablet or something from Kingpin. I ran into a couple of other people as I was going through this mission, but just a few, so it wasn't too jarring. So far I'm back into giving the game a chance. Another motion comic comes up, this time with some Avengers looking over one of Kingpin's "legitimate" businesses (a nightclub). Cap, Black Widow, Luke Cage, Spider-Man, and Wolverine, I think. There's some talk of going in and checking things out, and it turns out Black Cat is also there, not with the Avengers, breaking in to steal some shit because, uh, Black Cat. Cool. So I get out of this neat little Oeming looking scene and I'm just Storm again, left out of the cool kids club and doing all the actual work while the Avengers... go to a dance club? It just seemed odd to have this scene with a particular set of characters, and then dump me back into Storm's skin. It's almost as if two separate things are going on at once. The "main" Marvel characters are off running this show and I'm doing the grunt work. It just felt odd.

There are a couple of weird things, but I'm still willing to push through and see if I can get into this. I kind of like where it's going, I'm just not sure if I like how I get there. So I'm working over to this nightclub and I still haven't run into more than one or two other heroes, so I figure if this is how things go I can attempt to ignore the chaos at Avengers Tower. Then I noticed that a car I hovered over had an interaction icon. So I clicked on it. And Storm walked over and picked up the car.

Storm walked over and picked up a car.

And just in case this wasn't clear, Storm, the normal human sized, bad ass but not at all super strong (ex) queen of Wakanda, walked over to a normal sized automobile and lifted it above her head with her never been enhanced, regular people muscles. And then threw it.

I logged off.

I considered not going back in. But I wanted to like this game. I wanted to like this game enough that I had an excuse for purchasing Captain Marvel, (whenever the hell that skin comes out), and running through as Carol because that would be fucking rad. Even writing out these complaints here makes me think they're ridiculous. It's a lot of little things adding up to a poor experience, but individually, each one is a small gripe I think I should (as a gamer) be able to ignore (for the sake of having fun).

Whatever. I'll give it one more chance. I log in and get dumped back at the Tower. I see one Punisher run through a crowd of Daredevils, Things, and Scarlet Witches. I noticed a couple of Deadpools mixed around, but all the red made me think of DD at first. Hit the teleport and warp over to Kingpin's club.

The club is populated with some random NPCs. Some of them wearing nice suits and... baseball caps? Da fuck? Who wears a suit and baseball cap combo? And in what nightclub? Is this a Super Bowl after party or something? Anyway... I walk upstairs and there's this dude standing menacing over someone, like he's berating them after he punched them, or he's threatening to punch them... or something. And this person he's threatening is lying on the ground and looks to be begging for mercy, and I can't tell if it's a man or woman, but I'm a mother fucking superhero so I better step in. Except I can't talk to either of them. There's no interaction here at all. Just a random line of text from the dude that I don't even remember, and then back to angry animations of a threatening nature.

"Excuse me, sir, what's going on here?"

"Oh, I'm about to smack a bitch. No big thing."

"Do you have super powers?"

"No, ma'am. Just Average Joe beat the fuck outta my wife powers."

"That all seems in order then. Carry on. I'ma go find this mystical doodad in the back storage room they surprisingly keep unlocked."

So I leave this scene and roll to the back of the club, where a door is just sort of wide open and I can walk right in like it ain't no thang. I fight a couple of dudes here, but the further I go, the more dead bodies and less live enemies I see. Then I walk out the back of the club and into the narrow, kind of closed off streets again. That's the important thing to note about these environments. This isn't a huge open world like WoW or Guild Wars or TOR or whatever. In those games, you can shove 20 people on the same map and there's all sorts of room to run around and kill shit. This is a comic book environment, so it's all alleys and closed in streets and occasional warehouse buildings. Small, intimate environments that make kicking ass interesting in comic books. TOR manages this with special rooms for story progression that are unique to each player (or group), so the parts of that game that are closed off and intimate like this are sectioned off just for you when you enter. Not so much here.

As I walk down this narrow street, Scarlet Witch runs past me and blasts the shit out of a group of Maggia in front of me. OK. I walk over their dead bodies and then another Storm rushes past me and joins Wanda up ahead for some good old fashioned ass kicking. Remember how I said I couldn't figure out how to adjust the controls? Yeah. No idea how these peeps figured out how to run better than the point-and-click bullshit I was using... but whatever. These two bad asses are occupied with a group of dudes a little further on, so I sneak off to the side to pick off a group I noticed hiding in the corner.

And this is when I see a counter at the top left of the screen that shows which characters are in the area. There are two circles there. One for Storm and one for Scarlett Witch. And then a circle appears for Daredevil. And then The Thing. And there are numbers in those little circles. Four Storms. Six Things.

That's when the swarm hit. A group of them came rushing up from behind me, and it was one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen in a game. It was almost like a superhero tornado, with this swirling circle of Things around the outside and two Storms in the middle. It started as a group rolling up behind me, moving in unison. Then the blob extended, the Things moving forward like a spear that struck out at the enemies in front of me. The Things rushed past me and crushed their targets, while lightning from the Storms behind us added extra damage. And as quick as this amalgamated monster had struck, it retreated. The Things ran back to form up around the Storms and the whole big mass of them moved on to the next area.

I sat and stared at the screen for a minute. Then I logged off. This morning I uninstalled the game. I don't know that I'll ever go back. Perhaps, in a couple months, I might step back in and see if it's quieter. If I can move around without a swarm of Things creeping up behind me. I hope so. I never want to see that again.

3 for 3 Bonus Content: Round Two: The Blog That Keeps On Giving

Quick thought on things that'll never happen.

I tweeted this afternoon about the likelihood of Coulson being a LMD in the new SHIELD series. This seems like the easiest explanation for him appearing after The Avengers. Though it would make more sense that the Coulson in the movie was the LMD, and thus Coulson himself never died at all, that feels like it cheapens the events of the movie. Not that it isn't possible, it's just... lame.

Though it does seem odd that his LMD would still be running about after the real man is dead, but what other explanation is there? Seems like this avenue would also lend credence to some of those rumors about Coulson becoming Vision later on. The LMD isn't quite the same thing, but it's still Coulson's mind or memories or soul or whatever in a robotic substitute.

Of course there are other possibilities, and we'll see when the show debuts, but I'd kinda like to see them embrace this idea. It's a little outside the park, as far as what the average viewing audience would expect, but feels a lot like a Whedon thing to do.

Since I mentioned Vision, I'll throw down on an idea that'll never happen, but would be great. As I mentioned in the original blog, I'm all about Ant-Man coming in to fill the gap left when Iron Man leaves, and become the new resident egotistical scientist. With Ant-Man, we get Wasp at some point, another Avengers regular, but also get Ultron and Vision.

I'm not sure how it would work, but it would be cool if Jarvis somehow became the Vision. It's the same idea as EDI taking over that android in ME3, and would be cool if Jarvis downloaded himself into an Ultron clone or android or whatever to help save Avengers Tower from some threat or another when the rest of the team was incapacitated.

Now I don't figure that'll ever happen. Coulson still has a better shot of becoming Vision, though if the show continues on for awhile that might diminish... but turning Jarvis into Vision helps keep that tie to the Iron Man movies. Of course it's not the same as having Stark himself, but keeping something familiar around for the audience to hang on to make the transition of a Stark-less Avengers team easier.

Plus, I dig Paul Bettany, and figure he'd make a good Vision. And if it wasn't done in full CGI, he's got about the right look and build to pull it off with the practical effects.

3 for 3 Bonus Content: Rumor and Speculation

There were a few things I wanted to address in the last post, but didn't have room for. There's a lot of rumor and speculation going around about Avengers 2 and the next slate of Iron Man movies, and it was some stuff I wanted to touch on but didn't fit in with what I was doing last time. So here's some quick thoughts on the subject.

RDJ has been relatively open about the fact that he's not sure if he wants to come back for more movies. He's getting older, (close to 50, I think). He's been doing this for quite a while now (four movies total so far), and between the creative grind of "doing the same thing" and just the physical toll it takes to do a superhero movie (which I'm sure is that much harder as he gets older), I can't blame him. He's finished out the obligations to his multi-movie contract, so it seems like a good time to clock out.

This, I suspect, is a large part of the reasoning behind the ending of Iron Man 3. Stark gets his shit together and realizes what's important to him. From a character arc perspective, using the "Clean Slate" protocol is how he proves to Pepper that he's a changed man. That he wants her, not the suit (which is more or less the struggle that takes place throughout the movie, though it's never phrased quite so bluntly), and that he's ready to move on (the suits also represent his obsession with what happened in New York and his only solution for dealing with that). But between that and the destruction of the Malibu house, the movie hit a sort of reset button on the franchise. In the next Iron Man movie, if there is one (and I hope there isn't), Stark will have to start back up from scratch. So in the event that the role of Stark is recast (worst idea ever), there's a whole "fresh start" in place for the franchise, which would make the casting change a little easier to digest. And in the event that there are no more Iron Man movies (the smarter move), this gives us a valid reason and enough closure to move on.

I know people love these Iron Man movies, and RDJ has been phenomenal in the role, but as I mentioned in the last blog, I've never been a huge fan of the character. I like the movies, (even the second one), but I think that we could stop here and just be OK. RDJ and Iron Man got us to this point in the Marvel movie universe. Their success got us here and made all of what's happening now possible. But now that it's been a success, we don't need them. And I think it's the smarter move to let them fade out.

The fact is, if RDJ is having doubts now about coming back, then there's no point in attempting to woo him back in. Dude is done. If he wants out, let him out. The thing is, his heart just won't be in it if he wants to be done. It's pointless to sign him for another five movies or whatever if he's not interested. You might get one more good one out of him, but after he'll just be phoning it in. Working for the paycheck. And that's going to be a lot less interesting and dynamic Tony Stark. Let him go out on his own terms, while he stills enjoys it.

But that said, I think it's vital to sign him on for Avengers 2, and Marvel needs to do what it takes to make that happen. While Iron Man 3 might not have been a direct lead in to Avengers 2, I think what Marvel did with Phase One was set expectations of who we'll see in these movies. And Iron Man 3 just kicked off Phase Two, so audiences have a reasonable expectation of seeing Iron Man in that movie. Plus, the script is done? Or close to. And I would imagine it was written with Iron Man as a significant part of the film. Of course, that could be changed should things not work out, but it seems like it would be in Marvel's best interest to move forward with the plan that's in place now. Which means securing RDJ for Avengers 2.

After that, let him go. Let him do other things. And please, for the love of the gods, let the Iron Man franchise go with him. The worst thing Marvel could do is attempt to recast Stark or do a full reboot of the franchise. I know it's popular and it makes mad cash, but it's a bad move. RDJ filled that role too well, and no one is going to be able to do that again. No one can replace him, and attempting to do so would just be a futile waste of time.

Also, Marvel needs to remember that it has an entire cast of characters to bank on for the future. Losing one franchise, even one as popular as Iron Man, is not that bad. In some regards, it would be fortunate for them, as it opens up a slot on their roster to promote a new hero (Carol Danvers as Captain Marvel gods damn it). Marvel just reacquired the rights to Daredevil, Ghost Rider, Luke Cage, and.... something else, damn it, all within the last few months or so, giving them access to an even more robust future roster. There are a lot of options on the table for Marvel's future, and none of them need Iron Man to succeed.

Now I'm not in charge of a multi-billion dollar investment like the Marvel movie franchises. I don't know the inner workings of the business or all that much about what happens behind the scenes. I just know what I read on the internet. And what I've read on the internet is a bunch of ill-informed people posting opinions on things they know, and likely will never know, anything about.

So that's what I'm going to do now.

I know I have no real input on things, and there's a lot of shit I have no clue about, but whatever. It's the internet. So here's what I'd do if I were in charge of the Marvel movies.

Sign RDJ for Avengers 2. Like I said, I feel like people will expect him in it. And audiences love RDJ as Stark, so it's easier for them to go on these "weird" rides with the Avengers battling aliens if he's there, too. Get him in this movie. I think, with the right persuasion, this could be his last big run as Iron Man, however the script is written now, and then he can just fade out. Iron Man 3 set us up for his retirement, and with just a few dialogue edits, he could make it clear he's coming back for one more big fight before he quits the superhero business for good. Worst case, the script would need to be rewritten so that RDJ spends a lot of time as Stark and a lot less time as Iron Man, which might make him feel better about the whole thing. Have him refuse to suit up until the final battle. Or even refuse to do it for the final battle, and then shows up as Iron Man when The Avengers need him most. That would add a little oomph to his appearance, and give him one last big heroic moment before leaving.

Don't kill him. That would be a simple excuse for not having Iron Man come back, but I think that puts serious limitations on the future. RDJ seems to like this role. I'm sure he just wants a break from it all. Give him the break. And perhaps, in the future, he'd be willing to come back for one more movie. Imagine how huge that would be? Even if not, I'm sure he'd be willing to do a few cameos, not unlike Ruffalo did for the end of Iron Man 3. That would be fun for him, fun for the audience, and cheaper for Marvel (I'm assuming a cameo appearance would cost far less than a starring role, if he wasn't willing to do it for free). While killing off the Stark character is a short term solution for his absence, it's just too limiting in the long term.

Also, as I said before, don't attempt to recast Stark. RDJ is that role. No one else will do it better. No one else will do it as well. And even if someone could, the audience still wouldn't accept it. It just wouldn't work. When RDJ leaves, let Stark go with him.

There is one disadvantage to signing RDJ for Avengers 2, and that's that it pisses off all the other cast members. Or so rumor would go. It seems he's been paid a bit more, quite a bit more, in fact, than the other cast members, and some of them are less than pleased with that. Marvel is notorious for being cheap, and that's not a bad thing. It got them this far. But it's time to start investing more in the people that help keep this thing going.

I believe Chris Evans has signed on for the sequel, and Ruffalo is a lock because he's still under that multi-deal contract... but all the others might be up in the air? Last I heard, RDJ and Hemsworth were the holdouts. Johansson is upset with how much less she's making (or so I've heard), and I'm sure Renner is still pissed about being "underused" in the first movie. So let's assume Marvel can make a deal with RDJ. It's going to be expensive, and in that case, it'll be time to reach out and make some offers to the other cast as well. Much as I hate to say it, because I really like Hemsworth, an Avengers movie could still work without Thor. I think it's important to pull him in for Avengers 2, because I assume Loki will be involved somehow, since he started this Thanos shit in the last movie. It would be weird seeing Loki without Thor. And as I pointed out with Iron Man, since Thor will be in a movie that comes out before Avengers 2, people will expect to see him in Avengers 2. But much like Iron Man, I think Thor is a character that can be placed on the shelf after this film without too much issue. I like Hemsworth as an actor, I find Thor entertaining, but when it comes to big action pieces and his role on an Avengers team, he's just a brute. Dude is full on warrior, and Hulk more than has that role covered on his own. Thor could easily be left on the sidelines, with Hulk taking over whatever action role Thor would have filled, and no one would be the wiser. We wouldn't miss anything.

Renner is sort of justified for being pissed about his role in The Avengers. It's unfortunate, but it happened. The more unfortunate part of that is that he could be written out or sidelined and no one would care too much. Sure, there are Hawkeye fans out there, and he's always been a vital member of the team in the comics. But the movie did nothing to help make audiences care for him. And if the movie-going audience doesn't care, then he's not important. It would be better to keep him on and keep him happy, but if his terms are too steep, it wouldn't be a huge loss.

On the flip side of that, the exact opposite can be said for Johansson. She debuted in Iron Man 2, recruited Banner and was a vital component to the team in The Avengers movie, and gets at least some screen time with Evans in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I'm not sure how big her role is in that movie, but looks like the two of them do at least one mission together. So in a strange way, Black Widow has become the thread that keeps these people connected. She made the original assessment on Iron Man. She brought in the Hulk. She's our anchor for relating to Hawkeye and his role in SHIELD, through their implied adventures together. And soon she'll be partnering up with Captain America on some SHIELD adventures of their own. Whether on purpose or not, Marvel has made Widow the common denominator of this otherwise random group of heroes, and I think it's in their best interest to keep her around. When it comes to negotiating with Johansson, it would be wise for Marvel to loosen their notoriously tight wallet a bit and attempt to make a more appeasing offer.

What I think would work best for Marvel is keeping on Evans, Ruffalo, and Johansson for the long term. This keeps Cap on as the leader of the team, giving them some much needed stability, regardless of what other members change. With Cap in charge, we'll always know what the team stands for. Even if the team itself isn't the same, he'll make sure their focus is. Keeping Ruffalo as the Hulk makes sure the team will have a strong man, even if characters like Thor leave, and as the breakout star of The Avengers, ensures that the audience retains a character they love. I just went over why it's important to keep Johansson around, but this also gives them the bonus of ensuring there's at least one woman on the team. The Avengers did a fair enough job of showing us these three, in particular, can work together. Or, I guess, that those two are good at working with Captain America. I think there's enough there to use these three as the base of the team, allowing for the other two or three slots to be filled out as needed.

This might not be "the big three" comic book fans are used to, but I think with what the movies have done so far, it makes the most sense. And all three of them have been vital components to the Avengers team in the comics (Widow a little less so). Rumors suggest that Whedon is bringing both Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver into Avengers 2, though no idea if that'll be as members of the team or just introductions to place the seed for them joining later. In either case, that adds a lot of weight to the "classic Avengers" feel comic book fans can appreciate, and if both Stark and Thor were gone, those roster spots would free up.

The other dark horse Marvel has out there is Ant-Man. I believe its release is scheduled for after Avengers 2, so there isn't much to go on so far, but with Edgar Wright at the helm we can almost guarantee it will be awesome. If Marvel were looking to the future, I'd think this is the perfect time to introduce a new Iron Man.

Hank Pym isn't as charismatic and likable as Tony Stark, but he is a genius inventor with a gigantic (pun!) ego. There are a lot of similarities between the characters, and with Edgar Wright making the movie, I have no doubt that Ant-Man will be just as comedic and entertaining as Iron Man. Which presents Marvel with the unique chance to fill the void of egocentric but likeable smart-ass scientist that will be left when RDJ leaves with a different egotistical but (slightly less) likeable smart-ass scientist. With the right casting, Hank Pym could fill the role of Tony Stark, solving most all the problems of RDJ leaving. There's still the issue of replacing the Iron Man franchise, but Ant-Man is already in the works, and I have no doubts it'll be great... so that should take care of itself as well. Plus, if that were the plan, that means we'd for sure get an introduction to Janet (as the Pepper to Pym's Stark), and that's just one step away from adding Wasp to The Avengers team as well.

And that's just the near future. Marvel still has that long rumored Dr. Strange movie out there. There are new rumors that a script of some sort exists for a Ms. Marvel movie, (though I'd prefer we just go ahead and make her Captain Marvel to start with). Black Panther is still waiting around out there for someone to do something with him. Marvel just reacquired the rights to Daredevil (not known for being an Avenger, but no reason that couldn't change for the movies) and Luke Cage (known for leading the New Avengers in the comics), who I assume will be teamed with Iron Fist (also on the New Avengers) at some point in either a feature film or series. I doubt there'd ever be a Vision solo film, but he's another character that hasn't been used we could see in a future Avengers film.

The point is, Marvel has a lot of options that don't have to involve their current roster of Avengers, if actors get too expensive or just too tired of the roles. There is room for expansion and replacement. But Marvel needs to be smart about it. Do what needs to be done for the short term, but prove willing to invest in the people that will be most beneficial in the long term. And remember that the Marvel universe is huge. Most characters are replaceable. Even if they don't seem so right now.

3 for 3

So I checked out Iron Man 3 over the weekend, no surprise, and we met up with a few friends there, at least one of them was seeing the movie for a second time, and mentioned he was looking forward to the scathing blog post to come on what a piece of shit the movie was.

OK. He didn't use those exact words, and I don't think the movie was a piece of shit, but it was... frustrating. I left the theater with the same feeling I had after watching The Dark Knight Rises. The movie was good. I liked it. But I didn't love it. There's just too much that feels wrong. This is the interesting thing about art, and about being a comic book nerd in the age of comic book movies. I've developed a certain perspective on these characters after reading about them for so long. Or even at this point in the film universe, having seen Iron Man in three movies previous to this. I attach to certain beliefs or ideals that these characters represent for me. And when it comes to someone else's interpretation of that same character, our views might not jive. That doesn't mean I'm right and someone else is wrong, it just means that I'm going to be a little disappointed when things don't shake out like I expect (or want).

Which is what happened here. To be honest, I was excited about this one. I was pumped to see what Shane Black would do with a superhero movie, since I've been a big fan of his other films and I knew he'd worked with Downey before, (though it should be noted I haven't seen Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang), so it seemed like a sweet combination for awesome. And I think it will be when I see the movie again. It's not perfect, but I think now that I'll be less... shocked(?) with the stupid shit, I can watch the movie and appreciate it more. 

There are a lot of things I could pick at and be a dick about concerning this film, but I won't. Well, I will, but not too much? Hmm. We'll see what happens. I have, however, decided that there were three main problems I had with the movie and those I'll outline here (hence the not-so-clever name of the post) and see what happens after that.

1)  SHIELD is on vacation for the holidays. What's cool about this movie is that it makes an attempt to deal with the fallout of The Avengers movie. Tony Stark went through some shit, and it's bothering him, and that's a big part of the plot to this movie. In fact, that sums up Tony's entire character arc for the film. He's having a problem dealing with the fact that he, an insanely successful but physiologically normal human being, just teamed up with a Norse "god" and an ageless super soldier to fight off aliens in Manhattan. Oh, and he almost died doing it. I dig that this was a big deal, because it would be a big deal. That's some profound and strange shit for any person to go through. Fighting next to a "god" against extraterrestrials brings into question everything we believe, as a species, about religion and our origins and all sorts of shit. Whether I hold to a particular religious belief or not, if I'm standing next to the "real life" Thor and an alien.... I gotta question a lot of shit on a fundamental "Where do we come from?" level. Then complicate that with a man like Stark, a man of science who was the first "open" superhero and a dude who seems to think the world revolves around him... to have that dude thrown into a world of myth and magic with things that are so much larger in scope and more powerful or important than he could ever be... that shit will fuck with your head.

So I love that the movie took that into consideration and made it a focal point. I love that Stark was freaking out because he had no idea how to deal with that kind of thing. It was a great touch for the character, and helps to blend the movie franchises together in a more realistic way. But  it also kept reminding me of the one thing that bothered me most about this movie. Iron Man 3 wants us to remember that The Avengers happened, and that the events of that film have an affect on the overall world. However, it wants to deal with ONE aspect of that fallout, and that one aspect alone, with no attempts to handle the other obvious, more positive, aspects of those events.

The first two Iron Man movies set a precedent for Nick Fury's strange obsession with shoving SHIELD agents up Tony's ass. Those movies were used as vehicles to introduce the idea of SHIELD and what SHIELD was about, in an effort to set-up for both Captain America and The Avengers. And it worked. But now we get to the third film and SHIELD can't bother to even send one agent down to lend a hand?

The Mandarin is an international terrorist (the US government sends Iron Patriot to multiple countries where it believes Mandarin to be hiding) who has targeted both the United States and the President. He has the ability to hijack television signals at will and broadcast whatever he wants. This is a technology no one knows about and no one can stop, (I assume, judging by the reactions of everyone in this movie when it happens). He has also claimed responsibility for at least two or three bombings, (I know there were more in the movie, but I'm not sure he claimed all of them) that have killed at least a dozen innocent civilians and for which there was no bomb device found. Some of the people confirmed killed in these explosions have disappeared, with no trace of their bodies found. The men who disappeared, at least in the two cases Stark investigates during the movie, were members of the US military.

How is that not the sort of thing SHIELD would be interested in? Perhaps not to a full-scale, Avengers level threat, but seems like an agent or two looking into this wouldn't be a bad idea. Coulson was all up in Stark's ass 2.4 seconds after he created the Mark I in a cave in Afghanistan. Mandarin blows up a few people with bombs that don't exist and no one wants to see what's going on? I realize that, to an extent, this is more of a United States threat, as Mandarin seems to have his focus set on the President, and SHIELD is more of a world threat kind of organization... but does it not seem like things could escalate from there? Wouldn't SHIELD want to at least have an agent, even just one, down on the ground to see whats's going on?

Even if I'm willing to stretch far enough to think that Mandarin's actions are below SHIELD's radar, Stark's "Come find me at home" challenge to an international terrorist would not have gone unnoticed. Yet again, no one thinks to send an agent or two over there in case some shit goes down because Stark just went insane and gave his home address to a warlord? Or perhaps, even thinking that there might be some unresolved anger issues he's not dealing with since he just made a grand challenge to The Mandarin because his friend is hurt (not dead)? Slight overreaction, perhaps? See, at the point that Iron Man challenges Mandarin to come for him, it's not even about Mandarin anymore. It doesn't matter who the threat is, SHIELD has invested a lot of time and effort into Stark, and I'm reluctant to use the word friend, but the two seem to at least have an established relationship as business partners, (even if that business is saving the world), and it seems in the best interest of that business (future saving the world) that SHIELD step in and at least offer to lend a hand.

But OK. Perhaps Mandarin is too small scale for SHIELD. Perhaps Fury figures Tony can handle himself, or he figures Tony asked for whatever happens to him, so fuck it. Fine. SHIELD is out. There are still a few other members of the Avengers out there, right? You mean to tell me that Captain America wouldn't at least make a phone call? The dude is pure good, and even if he doesn't like Stark, after what happened in New York he's got to respect him. They're teammates, and that seems like something Cap would take seriously, so damn if he wouldn't make an attempt to reach out. Or try to convince Fury to. Or something. And Widow spent some time with Tony. Again, "friends" might be a stretch, but she certainly does not wish Tony ill, or to see him dead. You'd think the same thing. She gives him a call or stops by or sends a few agents if she's busy. Hawkeye could give a fuck less. Thor is in Asgard. OK. But Banner's.... around. And last we saw the two of them, Stark and Banner were riding off into the sunset together. Plus, Banner shows up in that after credits scene, so the two must be friends, or close to. Banner didn't think to come over after Stark threatened a terrorist and be like... "Dude, you seem kinda angry?" I mean, he would know.

I'll even take this one step further and give them the benefit of the doubt up to this point. Everyone thought Tony could handle himself and no one wanted to offer him help. Sure. Then his house gets blown to fucking pieces and he's presumed dead. Still no one shows up. One of The Avengers died and none of the others bother to do a damn thing about it. Avenging is in their fucking name! That's what they (supposedly) do! If there was no reason good enough to step in before now, this damn well qualifies as a good reason. He's (reported) dead! Get out there and avenge him!

This is a problem the comics have as well, so don't think this is exclusive to the movies. The thing is, once these franchises and characters are all intertwined, you can't just untwine them. You can't ignore it, especially when you go through such painstaking effort to not ignore it in other ways. At some point, somewhere, someone should have shown up to lend a hand. Even if Tony tells them to screw off, that's fine. In fact, that would have done a little more to bolster that "man on the edge" vibe the movie seems to be moving toward. The fact that he's so out of whack with what happened in New York he even refuses help from legitimate friends, just because they were there. I'd be OK with that.

The movie went to great lengths to provide us a palpable threat for Iron Man. A believable, malicious villain with no restraint and no regard for innocent life. This is a madman who can and will do what it takes to achieve his goals. This is a madman who, if not now, soon will threaten the world with his menace. And the world protecting entities of SHIELD or the other Avengers do nothing about it, for no more reason than it's an Iron Man movie. There's a fine line, and I'm sure it's a hard one to walk, between believable, individual threat (someone that endangers Stark and his life on a personal level) and believable, world threat (someone that endangers the lives and liberties of everyone on the planet). Unfortunately, this movie did such a good job of building up The Mandarin that it crossed too far into that second territory, and then refused to acknowledge that it did so. Which just leaves me with a bunch of questions. How much easier would all of this have been if SHIELD had used their super secret intelligence powers to figure out Mandarin was a fraud? How much easier would all of this have been with just one agent watching Stark's back, or even better, one of the gods damned Avengers lending him a hand? The last 3/4 of the film would have been far less brutal for Stark (which is clearly why this didn't happen) if even just one person, or god, or big green rage monster, had shown up to help (just like real friends and partners do). Also would have shaved about half an hour off the run time of the movie.

2)  Shane Black. Remember when I said I was looking forward to this because I liked his other movies? Well, that was before I watched this movie and realized it was one of his movies. Yes, a dumb mistake to make, and a complete rookie move, but I still did it. Now I could go into the whole thing where there's a big, bad ass showdown/shootout at the end of the film with a professional (police officer, private detective, football player, Air Force colonel) black man as the straight or serious half of an unlikely duo, with his partner, the off the wall and unchained "eccentric" white person (Mel Gibson, Geena Davis, Bruce Willis, Robert Downey, Jr) who got them into this mess in the first place. But that part didn't bother me, though I did find it amusing and predictable, it was fun. I liked it.

What did bother me was Tony Stark's relative nonchalance at just killing the fuck outta some bad dudes. Now, I'll admit, this is a bit of a muddled issue and one I'm torn on. I understand that all the people Stark killed were bad, or out to kill him, or hurt someone else, or whatever. I even understand that this is not the first time he's killed people or the first time another Avenger has shot at some dudes (Cap is all about shootin' some Nazis).

But I thought he made an attempt not to kill people in the first movie? I could be remembering this wrong, but I thought there was a whole idea of non-lethal when it came to the Iron Man suit. The palm blasts are powerful as shit, but don't kill? I thought that he didn't want to make things that kill, but still wanted to protect people from the things he used to make that kill. Or people that kill. Whatever. The suit, and its armament, are non-lethal. That was a large part of the plot of the first movie. Stark did not want to keep making things that killed. He didn't want to be known as... what was it? The Merchant of Death?

He killed Stane, of course. And Whiplash at the end of the second movie. But these fall under the accepted exception of the "bad guy dies at the end" movie trope. And in both cases it was more or less kill or be killed, which makes it a little more acceptable. Also, he never used guns, so I suppose it didn't strike me as so out of character. Theses were scenarios in which I was willing to accept death as an unavoidable part of the outcome.

This movie, though? Fuck it. There's a running gag in the movie that War Machine's name was changed to Iron Patriot because it tested better with focus groups. It's a whole thing and it's amusing and I don't even mind the use of Iron Patriot here in a complete not-at-all-like-the-comic turn, because it works and we're never going to get a Dark Avengers movie (though that would be fucking awesome), and even if we do, Norman or whoever could still just steal the Iron Patriot suit (this movie proves how simple that can be). But we still get our War Machine, because Tony just flat out kills the shit out of everyone who comes near him.

There are some arguments to be made here, and I'll accept them. To an extent. The most obvious is that Stark is a bit out of his gourd, but the movie doesn't handle that with the right mix of... hmm. So Tony admits to being unable to sleep, the one time we do see him sleep he has nightmares, and we see him have an anxiety attack multiple times whenever someone tries to talk about what happened in New York. These are the times we're forced to consider what he's been through, and whether on purpose or not, the movie associates these things for us. We can associate his failing mental health, his hang-ups and issues in processing what happened, with particular instances of losing control. With being unable, physically, to control himself, (or in that one case, his suit).

When Stark gives out his address and challenges The Mandarin to come at him, he's doing this just after leaving the hospital. His friend is in a coma and he's upset. He's seen the destruction first hand. This whole thing is presented as a revenge, (he even calls it that himself), and an almost heroic thing to do. It does not, that I remember, infer or hint at the idea that he might have made a rash decision due to the fact that he hasn't slept in days or that he has all sorts of mental turmoil/anguish shit going on. Just like in real life, when we lash out at people for unrelated reasons, just because we're frustrated or tired or whatever from something else, we take it out on whatever the next thing is that comes at us. It's not an illogical thing to consider that this is where Stark is coming from, and I hope other people considered that, too, but the movie never gave us a reason to do so. It did not ask us to. It gave us a fine excuse for him challenging Mandarin (revenge) and manages to subvert the other. The same goes for all the AIM thugs he murders from that point on. There's an argument to be made that Stark has been driven mad or pushed to the edge or whatever, and he just loses control and starts blasting dudes. OK. I'd even believe that. But the movie never gives us much reason to consider that.

It continues to treat Stark's issues as singular events, panic attacks when someone talks about New York. Otherwise, he seems to be more or less in control. Cool, calm, quick with the wit. The movie, as a Shane Black movie would do, treats his cavalier attitude toward killing as part of the job. And we even accept that. The whole cool and calm, quick with the wit thing? Full on secret agent shit. He's James Bond in a mech suit. Rich. Bangs hot chicks. Drinks a lot of alcohol. The similarities exist, so it's not hard to accept the fact that this is how he would act.

Except it's not how he would act. At all. This is a man who took a stand against weapons of death and destruction back in the first movie. A man who has, up to this point, been reluctant to kill other people (he shot the fuck out of some aliens, though, but possible his power blasts incapacitate them the same as humans). Also, he's not trained for this shit. He's a businessman. At best, an inventor. But not at all someone who has been trained to, or should be, enact(ing) righteous handgun injustice. Stark murders dudes with no remorse, and even more to the point, tells them he's going to do so. He announces his intentions to kill people.

Yes, Captain America shot people. Lots of them. But he was a soldier and he was shooting Nazis, which are two acceptable excuses for doing so (as a general rule for American cinema, that is). We're OK with that. Stark has neither of those things going for him. He's a rich, privileged business owner with an expensive, non-lethal metal suit that straight up threatens to murder two men. These men didn't torture him. The men he killed didn't even kidnap him. Just a couple of goons put in charge of watching him. That's it. And Stark killed them. Stole their guns and shot them. Point blank and with pleasure.

Are these the actions of a superhero? And if so, where the fuck does that leave us? Should we not be questioning this? Is that the sort of person we want to be looking up to? That we want our children to look up to?

I'm not saying Stark didn't have some justification. He did. But he did in the same way that Bruce Willis does in Die Hard or Schwarzenegger does in... all the movies ever. It's something we accept for that character in that world. It's something we accept for the kind of movies that Shane Black writes. But to this point, those aren't the kind of movies Marvel is making.

(Do not come at me with a Punisher argument. Punisher is an outcast and a criminal, as noted in all three of his feature films, because he does the exact same shit Stark did in this movie. It serves to prove the point, not argue against it.)

There's been nothing that has asked us to accept that kind of wanton behavior from our heroes in the Marvel movie universe. And nothing that makes Stark, no matter how he acts, the kind of trained secret agent killer he becomes in this film. The movie doesn't give us enough justification, and beyond an amusing line from Pepper at the end, does nothing to address the trail of bodies Stark left to get there.

Still, though, those action scenes were fucking awesome, right?

3)  Mandarin. Wow. Just... hmmph. This one is last on the list because I've been making an honest attempt not to be too much of a nerd about these movies. Also, I'm not even super into the Iron Man comics, so I don't have a vested interest in the outcome of this character. I've made a general rule that if changes are made that deviate from the comics, as long as the changes make sense within the context of what the movie is attempting to do, I'll accept it. Which is the exact case here. It works within the framework of the film. It succeeds as well as intended, fulfills its part, and adds some humor and a nice, unexpected twist to the proceedings. So with that in mind, part of me wants to let it go.

But come on!

None of the other things bother me too much, and in part, that might be because I don't know enough about them to care. I didn't read Extremis. The knowledge I've obtained on the subject, as well as the characters involved, is limited to what I've read in Avengers stuff, online, or in the first couple issues of the Marvel NOW! Iron Man run. From what I know, though, this seemed to kind of follow the basics well enough. I know Aldrich Killian was involved with it, but I don't know to what extent. I know he did not create AIM, but I'm OK with this change because it still manages to establish AIM as a morally questionable organization interested in future tech and super powered shenanigans. This is a good starting point for them to branch out into full-on villainy later in the Marvel movies, should they decide to go that route. And as I mentioned earlier, the changes to the Iron Patriot thing I'm OK with because it worked and made sense for this world that's been created so far.

Even before the swerve, The Mandarin was far different from his comic counterpart. And I was OK with that, because he was a badass. I've always known Mandarin was going to be a hard sell for casual audiences. He's a dude with ten magical rings made from an alien spaceship. None of that was going to work in a movie. After The Avengers, the alien spaceship part could have worked,* but that still doesn't explain the magic. Could have turned the "magic" into tech, even alien tech, to make it fit in more with the Iron Man theme, but the whole point is that he's sort of the opposite of Iron Man (tech vs magic). Point being, it would have been difficult to figure out Mandarin's true origins and work them into a movie. And I knew that. So I went into this OK with the idea of changing it.

And part of what bugs me about this is that it was done so gods damn well. The Mandarin, as a terrorist, was fucking awesome. All of it was done so well. The way the vignettes were edited together. The way he spoke. The way he looked. All of it was pitch perfect. While it might not have been a Mandarin in line with the comics, it was a Mandarin that portrayed the same level of threat and menace. While a different character, he demanded the same level of attention. The Mandarin in this movie was a caliber of evil that made him a clear nemesis of Stark's. He was so believable, we all accepted him as a legitimate threat to our (as in the general movie going audience) favorite hero (people love them some Iron Man).

Which just makes it more disappointing that it got pissed on. And I get it. The whole idea was that The Mandarin was this manufactured villain, so of course he was perfect. The character was designed to be all the stuff I just described. I know. But... god damn it. It was so good. To just throw that out for the chance to trick the audience and get a few laughs, to just waste the potential of that character... it's disappointing. That's what the movie wanted to do, and it was done well, so whatever. I don't like it. Mandarin could have been so much more.

But the other thing about pulling that swerve is that it sort of pisses on the source material.This isn't a debate about organic or mechanical web shooters. Regardless of which he uses, Spider-Man still shoots webs from his wrists and uses them it to swing around or tie up baddies or whatever. It's a small change that has no large impact. The essence of the character, or in this example the webs, is still true to the source. There's an alteration to the origin, but at the core level, it's still the same. And that's where I attempt to turn off the nerd rage and allow these changes to be made. Comic book writers have been making changes and redacting things for decades, so for us to quibble over the little things is dumb. This doesn't seem little to me, though. This is a fundamental change in the character. In what the character is and what it represents. That's a problem for me. That's the sort of thing that gets to me. It just seems disrespectful.

In fact, most of this movie does. It's a fun and entertaining movie. It has great action scenes. It has well-timed humor. It's a little different from the other movies, and while that isn't necessarily a bad thing, it works against itself sometimes. Despite it's attempt to deal with The Avengers fallout, it doesn't seem to respect a lot of other core concepts established in the other films. This movie does what it wanted to do, and it does it well, but damned if it has to explain itself or lend some sort of justification for what it's done (or changed).

I'm looking forward to watching this again. I'm curious to see if I'll like it more a second time, now that I know what's coming, and now that I've had to accept what's been changed. I think I can be OK with it now. And, to be honest, if this is going to be Downey's last run at an Iron Man movie (and I'm willing to bet money it is), then it's not a bad one to go out on. I just wish it had been a better one.






*The alien spaceship thing would have been a genius idea. Take a dude who happened to be in New York when the invasion happened, who managed to survive and collect himself a little bit of the salvage. He just becomes obsessed with what happened, with the appearance of the aliens, with the power the creatures seemed to possess, and even more, the power it must have taken to stop them. He becomes obsessed with The Avengers, or perhaps just Iron Man and becomes The Mandarin. OK, it's not perfect, but I feel like there's something there. Like it could have been made to work.

Spread it like herpes

I wrote a longer version of this earlier, but it didn't seem right, so I'll just cut to the quick. If you like what you read, do me the favor of sharing it or retweeting it or whatever. There are buttons on the side there, and I figure that everyone got here from either Facebook or Twitter, anyway, so it's just a different click from what got you here to pass it along to others. Now I'm not asking that everyone retweet this shit every time I post something, because sometimes it's not as good as others or sometimes it's not relevant. Or sometimes maybe you just think it's bullshit. And that's fine.It probably is. But if you like a particular post or agree with it or think that one link I posted was kinda funny (there have been a few clever ones hidden in there, damn it), at least consider passing it along to your friends (and the cooler members of your family). Odds are some of them will like it, too.

The Mania That Time Forgot

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